Overachiever
If you were to look into my 'box of memories,' you know that box of random momentos of your life, most of it would be scholastic awards, report cards, and the like. Unfortunately I left that box in my dad's basement and it flooded so all I have is memories of the box of memories.
But that's not the point. I define myself by my intelligence and need to 'do better.' If you asked Ken he'd say something along the lines of "Kayla wouldn't be happy even if she had a million dollars." And I'd say "What do you mean I wouldn't be happy?! Who wouldn't be happy with a million dollars??" But the truth is, me I wouldn't be happy. I would accomplish that million dollars and start thinking about how I would get my hands on the next million dollars. My mind racing with thoughts on how to be richer, more successful and anxiously anticipating the exciting journey to get there.
I start Grad school tomorrow and I'm excited about it. I almost tricked myself into thinking that I wouldn't need my Masters. I settled into my job at the bank real nicely. I got accustomed to the 9-5 hours, the 5-minute commute, the 3-week vacation, the friendly co-workers, and managers that liked me and wanted to promote me. I was comfortable. Ken would tell me "you didn't go to BU to be a banker." And I would say "shut it, I like my job." Fearing losing what I had, and fear of searching for better and failing.
"humans are designed to seek comfort and order, and so if they have comfort and order, they tend to plant themselves, even if their comfort isn't all that comfortable. and even if they secretly want for something better."
~donald miller
It was only a matter of time that my desire to be challanged would triumph my complacency. As my favorite fellow blogger worded it "a simple life of comfort does nothing to change us, mold us, make us into better, stronger more beautiful versions of ourselves." {enjoyingthesmallthings}
I'm searching for that 'more beautiful version' of myself. And this little girl makes it all that more important.
But that's not the point. I define myself by my intelligence and need to 'do better.' If you asked Ken he'd say something along the lines of "Kayla wouldn't be happy even if she had a million dollars." And I'd say "What do you mean I wouldn't be happy?! Who wouldn't be happy with a million dollars??" But the truth is, me I wouldn't be happy. I would accomplish that million dollars and start thinking about how I would get my hands on the next million dollars. My mind racing with thoughts on how to be richer, more successful and anxiously anticipating the exciting journey to get there.
I start Grad school tomorrow and I'm excited about it. I almost tricked myself into thinking that I wouldn't need my Masters. I settled into my job at the bank real nicely. I got accustomed to the 9-5 hours, the 5-minute commute, the 3-week vacation, the friendly co-workers, and managers that liked me and wanted to promote me. I was comfortable. Ken would tell me "you didn't go to BU to be a banker." And I would say "shut it, I like my job." Fearing losing what I had, and fear of searching for better and failing.
"humans are designed to seek comfort and order, and so if they have comfort and order, they tend to plant themselves, even if their comfort isn't all that comfortable. and even if they secretly want for something better."
~donald miller
It was only a matter of time that my desire to be challanged would triumph my complacency. As my favorite fellow blogger worded it "a simple life of comfort does nothing to change us, mold us, make us into better, stronger more beautiful versions of ourselves." {enjoyingthesmallthings}
I'm searching for that 'more beautiful version' of myself. And this little girl makes it all that more important.
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