That feeling
I remember vaguely what it was like 3 or 4 months ago. The sleep deprivation kind of washed out my memory. I do know that I was so stressed at one point I didn't get to enjoy it like I should have. Thankfully those days are over. And now I find myself yearning for another one.
I said to Ken once, maybe 2 weeks after birth, : "I know you don't feel the same way I do about Kylan, but I don't get that feeling you're supposed to get. I mean I love her, don't get me wrong. But not as much as I love you, you know? I thought it would feel different."
Tonight I stare into Kylan's eyes for a solid minute. The only reason I blinked was because tears were forming. I begin to imagine a life without her and my stomach drops. I flashback to her wrinkly newborn feet in my palms and I swear I would give anything to have that moment again:
I said to Ken once, maybe 2 weeks after birth, : "I know you don't feel the same way I do about Kylan, but I don't get that feeling you're supposed to get. I mean I love her, don't get me wrong. But not as much as I love you, you know? I thought it would feel different."
Tonight I stare into Kylan's eyes for a solid minute. The only reason I blinked was because tears were forming. I begin to imagine a life without her and my stomach drops. I flashback to her wrinkly newborn feet in my palms and I swear I would give anything to have that moment again:
I get it now. The feeling of loving someone more than you knew possible. She is my everything and for only too short of a time do I get to have her with me every. single. day. It's kind of not fair.
Kylan at 5 Days old:
For those who are interested in videos of Ky subscribe to my Youtube channel kayla.boyer121
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