Spring fever

"Sleep is for the birds."

Said nobody ever.

Recently I've become paranoid about my ability to raise a child. The responsibility of caring for a human can become tiring to say the least. You question if you are feeding them the right amount, if they are sleeping enough or too much, if that cough is normal or not, if swaddling is stunting their growth, if you are spoiling them by picking them up, if they are ever going to get rid of their pacifier...the list goes on. 

Right now I question her bedtime routine. Am I consistent enough with it? Some nights she goes down at 7:15 and others at 8:30. Some nights I give her a bath and other nights I don't. Some nights I read to her but most nights I don't. What I am consistent about is swaddling and nursing her before bed but even that I question. What if she can't self-soothe and needs to nurse to bed until she's a toddler? So the other night I tried her crib. And with my sister here to give me the strength I needed, we let her cry it out (CIO). CIO is not something I thought I'd ever have to do until giving birth to a dramatic and very particular baby. But I had to adapt to my child. It's been working. The first night she cried 4 minutes and fell asleep on her own. Woke up her usual 2.5 hours later and cried for 8 minutes. Not bad. Until she woke an hour later and I was ready for bed and I caved and brought her into my bed.

The next night I went to the gym and Ken texts me the second I step foot on to the treadmill. 

Ken: "Babe, you have to come home. She's crying uncontrollably."

Me: "Let her cry babe, she'll be fine."

*silence*

Ken: "...23 minutes later she's asleep."

kylan a few days old.

I know this is only temporary. I'll miss all of this one day. I try to remember that at 1, 3, and 6 when she's nursing in my bed with my arm hugging her listening to her suckles.

Speaking of which. Ky now gets quite distracted. Whether it's to practice rolling or talking, she thinks it's amusing to pull off of me and do her own thing instead of focusing on the task at hand.

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Holidays are really important to me. They mean family, togetherness, cheer, and parties. Give me a reason to celebrate and I'm there. Although Ken and I are not religious, we come from religious families and Easter happens to be a holiday we both celebrate. For me it means eating ham and dressing Kylan up. To Ken it means candy. And to people like Grandma, it means much more. 

I'm excited for Easter hunts, painting eggs, hiding her basket and watching her search around for it, future Easter dresses and the headbands that accompany them, and much much more.

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We had an eventful time these last few weeks with Aunty home. Ky sure does love company and I enjoy seeing her in the arms of other admirers that like to talk about her as much as I do. After all, she is my favorite thing. 

   

We went swimming for the first time. She wasn't sure about it but she didn't scream so that's a plus.

Spring is getting me all antsy. I'm itching to change out my rug in the living room and clean out the closets. I'm  longing for brisk walks with the babes and popsicles. It's supposed to be upward of 70 degrees tomorrow and I have the day off. Glynnis and Laura are coming to visit too. I may or may not have to bust out the grill. Or have Ken bust out the grill, I mean. It's going to be a good day.